Valentine's Day, A Couple of Years Later, and a Couple of Weeks Late......

Pretty pathetic that I haven't written in well over a year. As someone, whose opinion I value, said recently, I have something to say, interesting things. He's right. I do have a lot to say, and on many different topics, and so, I'm going say them, or at the very least, write them. I was rereading my post from Valentine's Day back in 2011, and I have to say, for the most part, I still own my feelings on the whole subject. If you were not reading back then, I believe we do things for each other all year that show our love for each other, and hopefully we don't save the "I love you's" for one day a year.  Everyday is special, and hearing, "I love you" and "you are important to me" really uplifts the spirit even on the craziest of days. Likely the reason that married people live longer than single people. It really is the little things in a relationship that add up. That being said, it was an unexpected surprise, and especially nice, to receive a gorgeous bouquet of flowers from a very special Valentine, and once again my faith in the Happy Heart Holiday was restored.

 

For a long time, and some would argue, too long, I've resisted dating, never mind a relationship. Afraid of getting hurt, yes, busy being a full-time mom, and working outside of the home, absolutely, but there's time, if you make yourself a priority. Over the summer I was convinced, by that same someone whose opinion I value, that modeling a 'good, healthy relationship" would benefit our children, and needless to say, we would benefit from such a relationship too. I believed in the truth of those of words which motivated me to say yes to our first date six months ago. Of course, I should mention he asked me out once, about 7 years ago, but that didn't go anywhere. Entirely. My. Fault. Another blog, for another day, but for now I will say that I needed time to heal from a previous relationship.

When I was reading my blog entry from two years ago, I was reminded of my favorite line from the movie, "Nights in Rodanthe," when Diane Lane's character is talking to her daughter, and says, "there's another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it." Hopefully, for most, it happens well before the age of 48. I plan on sharing these words when it's time for me to give advice to the young women in my life. Not that they will listen initially, but hopefully, along the way, they too will learn to hold out for that really special Valentine. I don't doubt that there will be times when they feel ambivalent about Valentines Day, but like me, I hope their faith is restored by someone very special. Cheers!   

P.S. This is the second blog I'm publishing today...I'm on a roll or have waited too long to get back to writing!

Prevention

Not long ago, I attended a Suicide Prevention forum in town hosted by our local youth services bureau. A young man from town had taken his own life in November of 2011, and the event was, in part, sponsored by his family. I've known this young man's mom for a long time, and had attempted to go to the calling hours. The line went around the funeral home for hours, and I never did get in to express my condolences. Standing in line that night it was evident that this turn of events had left a big hole in the hearts of all that knew him. A wound, that for his family, will never truly heal. 

Fourteen months later, his father spoke at the event and urged people to talk about suicide. "This can't be something that is pushed away or ignored," he said. I couldn't think of a better way to share, than to turn this into a topic for my blog.    

 

The forum featured a variety of experts in addition to local residents who were willing to come forward and tell their story about how a friend or family members suicide forever changed their lives.

 

John Holt, a sports writer and local news anchor at WFSB, Channel 3, in Hartford, CT, talked about losing his brother to suicide in 1999. He urged those of us in attendance at the forum to "let people know you are there for them." 

 

Another guest speaker, Nena Lake, a licensed social worker, shared some startling statistics. More boys than girls commit suicide and boys tend to use more violent methods like guns or hanging.  The greatest number of suicides tend to happen between 3pm and midnight when parents may be at work. She stressed that, "suicide affects all ages, races and socioeconomic levels," she said. "It doesn't discriminate."   

 

The resounding message of the evening was that we should talk about suicide and listen to each others needs. Talk. talk. talk and listen. listen. listen. Pay attention to that "gut" feeling that something maybe amiss. Check in with your kids, ask them if they feel safe, secure, and make sure to tell them often that they can talk to you about anything...even if it hurts.  Remove the stigma of suicide by talking about it and being honest and frank with questions.

 

 

 

Nursing

Not long ago there were national "nurse-in" demonstrations at Target stores nationwide to assert a woman's right to nurse her child in public.  This reminded me that I thought about writing on this subject awhile back (a long while back) and never did.  

At that time it was because Gisele Bundchen (Mrs. Tom Brady of Patriots fame), was making waves with her commentary on breastfeeding.  She declared that all mothers should be required to breastfeed their babies for six months.  Nonsense.  Interestingly enough, she has been mum on her great parenting skills ever since, and her broad stroke criticism for those who do not parent as amazing as she does, has ceased, or at least it's not 'news' anymore.  Although we did learn recently that she doesn't know much about football, even though she's married to one of the best quarterback's in the NFL.  

But back to the subject of nursing.  I was an 'older' mother when I had my first child at 37, and as it turned out my only child.  I did nurse, not only for the baby but for myself too.  Breastfeeding does have health benefits for the baby, and I even read that it would help broaden the child's pallet for food and make them a better eater.  Considering the children in my family have never been very adventurous when it came to meal time, I was sold.  Oddly, in my case, this proved to be a myth.  My daughter still prefers chicken and fries, macaroni and cheese, and pizza.  Sigh.  Anyway, I took a course offered at the hospital, and learned the mechanics of nursing, and more importantly, how to complete the task discreetly without having to sequester myself to a coat closet in public or excuse myself for every meal.  

My first day home from the hospital, I did excuse myself to a bedroom because I wasn't sure my dad who was visiting would be comfortable.  He assured me he was fine, and excusing myself wasn't necessary, and at 65, I decided if he could handle it so could I.  I mastered lifting my shirt just so, and never did have to leave a venue.  Just once, when I was at a Starbucks in Mystic (CT), did a fellow patron make me feel uncomfortable.  It was clear that she and her husband or partner could tell what I was doing, and they were 'disgusted.'  I looked them straight in the eye, daring them to say something to me directly, and they didn't.  That was probably for the best.  

Nursing came to an end for me at 16 months which I thought was respectable, and close to 10 years ago now. Recently, my sister-in-law and I had a heated discussion about breastfeeding in public.  Obviously, I was fine with it, and she was on the opposing side as I had always suspected.  She had 4 children and they were formula fed which I never took objection to or judged because it's a personal choice, and everyone is entitled to make their own decision for what works for them.  She made it clear that she objected to a woman nursing her child in public, and went as far as to say, that she felt at a restaurant a mother could breastfeed in a bathroom or on a bench outside.  I suggested that a person having a problem with nursing in public excuse themselves!  My feeling is that a child being nursed has just as much rights at the table as a child being bottle fed. 

It really is a beautiful thing to feed and nurture a child so completely, and further, the woman's body was designed for birthing and feeding her offspring.  What strikes me as odd, is that it's women who primarily object to their fellow woman breastfeeding her child.  Is it body image issues?  Are these the same women who hold a towel in front of their daughters in the locker room when they are getting dressed in the locker room after swimming?  I tell my daughter, we are all girls and everyone's bodies are different, and there is no need for a towel.  If you're in the women's locker room, that's privacy enough.  I'm no stranger to weight issues, and went through years of unhealthy eating habits, and starvation before learning how to eat right and exercise, and fortunately, that was all before I brought a girl into the world.  I took off the baby weight slowly which was fine because as I learned at some point, extra milk is stored around the waistline.  A "dairy queen" of sorts, but the weight does come off, and producing milk, is quite the calorie burner.  As I mentioned earlier, nursing is also good for the mother.       

Whether you nurse or you don't, it's choice, and a very personal one, and no matter the choice, I think we women need to stick together.  If nothing else, it's good for our daughters. 

Writing

It's about time I get back to my writing my blog.  I apologize for my absence, I've missed writing, and I'm not entirely sure why I stopped.  I know I got busy last spring with warmer weather activities, and the end of the school year.  Then it was summer.  Does that speak for itself?  I've considered the reasons for my absence, and I think at first, it was writer's block.  Then it may have been a little shutting down, a delayed reaction after a friend from high school died, and lastly, after you write a few months of fluff, you are kind of inclined to write on subjects that maybe somewhat more controversial, and was I strong enough to handle commentary, pro or con?  I've reflected and I've decided that I am, but first I'll follow-up on some of my earlier posts to close out 2011 and start over.

While some things change, others remain the same.  To begin with, yes, I'm still obsessed with lounge-wear, and not long ago found the perfect pair of lounge pants at The Gap.  I remain on the fence about anti-aging products, and my search for what's perfect for me, continues.  By the end of last summer, I read every book in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, and loved the series.  Currently, I'm reading, Queen Bees and Wanna Bees, and if I may digress for a moment, this is a must-read for mom's with girls.  I did get the New Balance woman's 860 stability running shoe, and I've put many miles on them already so I can say with certainty that I highly recommend them.  My chiropractor would likely agree.  I replaced my Dell computer with another Dell, and my carbon footprint remains about the same.  Except that I am using these handy reusable snack bags made by a young mom who lives in my town (a shout-out to Green to Go on Facebook).

Lastly, I still refrain from using the word, 'should,' and I watch my words.  I am officially back to writing, stay tuned! 

Words...

I never intended to have a theme for this week, but life happens, and the theme is "words."

First, let me lay the ground work.  I get my coffee 99.9% of the time at Starbucks.  During the week, I stop on my way to work, and on weekends I drop by when the opportunity presents itself.  I frequent one of two locations.  The people who work there don't know me by name, but they do know my beverage of choice, whether it's the latte in the winter or the iced americano when the nice weather arrives. 

The other morning I placed my order and while I was waiting for my coffee, the Barista who had taken my order said, "you look so pretty lately, are you doing something different?"  Was that a compliment?  I'm not sure because what did I look like before?  Now I realize when I stop in on the weekend after a power walk I may not look my personal best, but during the work week I consistently put some effort into my appearance.  She further queried me as to narrow down what "change" was contributing to the difference.  After a quick review of haircut, color and clothes, neither one of us could come up with anything.  If only she could have left out the word, "lately."

It stayed with my all day, and not in a good way.  I couldn't help but ponder what was different lately?  After careful consideration, I've decided it boils down to a new found confidence, and a little more eyeshadow.  I believe people 'wear' their confidence, and lately I've been feeling pretty good.  The extra eyeshadow is an attempt to give my eyes an extra 'pop' in pictures.  Eye cream only goes so far. 

Did you ever receive a compliment that didn't really feel like one?  I'm listening...

 

Should

I would say about five years ago I dropped the word "should" from my vocabulary, and while I might still use it occasionally, I make a conscious effort to work around it in a sentence.  Why?  Because when you think about it, "should' is a very negative word.  How many times do you "should" on yourself or someone else?  For example, I should have written a blog last week.  Turn it around, leave out "should" and instead, I will try harder to blog this week.  Much better.  It isn't an easy exercise at first, but it does get better.

That being said, I'm very sensitive to the overuse of the word.  In my world, my mother is the biggest offender.  I love her, she's my mom, but she wastes an enormous amount of time pondering what other people "should" or "should not" do.  Maybe that's what you do when you're retired, but I sure hope not.  I have an endless supply of examples, but I won't bore you.  I know it  drives her pretty crazy when I won't engage, and in as much as I've explained that "should" is a negative word and I do my best not to "should" on others, it falls on deaf ears.  Sometimes, I find myself concentrating on how many times she's uses the word in one conversation, instead of hearing what she's said. Since I pride myself on being a good listener, I'm trying to break myself of this habit.  Two wrongs do not make a right.  

The next time you're having a conversation with either yourself or someone else,be mindful of how many times you "should" on yourself or someone else?  Turn your 'should' statements into positive statements, and let me know if it makes a difference! 

 

Royal Wedding

When it comes to the royal wedding tomorrow, there doesn't seem to be much middle ground.  You're either watching or you're not.  I will admit that I will be watching.  It's a tradition started by my dad back in 1973.  I was 9, and he woke me up to watch Princess Anne marry Mark Phillips.  I believe in England they would say I was gobsmacked by the pomp and circumstance, and was glued to the coverage for what I remember being a very long time.  It was a Wednesday so I assume at some point I got ready for school, but the wedding left an impression.  

When Prince Charles married Diana I was still in school, but fortunately, they were married in the summer.  Again, it was my dad who woke me up, but that was my idea.  I had followed the rather short courtship of Charles and Diana, and for the life of me I couldn't imagine wanting to be a Princess badly enough to marry Charles.  At 32, he seemed like an 'old' man, and she was so young, and pretty, and full of life.  I thought the energy she brought to her role was terrific, and admired her courage and strength and devotion to her charitable work.  I followed her trials and tribulations with the press, and the royal family, and caught glimpses of her life as a mother which from all outward appearances, brought her a lot of joy.  I watched as she really came into her own style and then wasn't at all surprised when her marriage to a man who clearly never loved her, fell apart.  Her death was sad, and I was awake of my own accord to watch the funeral. 

I didn't follow Fergie and Andrew so enthusiastically, but I did watch their wedding, and she has always seemed to give the royals a run for their money which I have found amusing.  That she found success as an author and spokesperson for Weight Watcher's was brilliant.  Of course, it clearly crossed a line when she recently tried to sell access to Prince Andrew.  

And so here we are on the day before the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, and no, I will not be up all night, but I will be awake early to tune into the coverage.  I think she, Kate, has a lot going for her, being older than Diana was when she married.  Plus, she is a college grad, and she's had a lot of time to get used to the idea of marrying royalty and living in a fish bowl.  She seems to handle it all in stride which I'm sure comes with maturity.  It doesn't hurt that she and William have spent a long time together and they clearly seem to love each other.  Call me a dreamer, or a hopeless romantic, but just once, it would be nice to get the fairytale ending...      

Carbon Footprint

I stopped using cloth hand towels about 5 years ago. I really don't consider myself germ-phobic, but think about it, a cloth towel is just a breeding ground for germs.  When I painted my powder room last year, I didn't even put the towel rod back up.  Instead, I have the paper hand towels for guests.  Upstairs, in the bathroom, I have kept a roll of paper towels on the counter. 

While I know this does nothing for my carbon footprint, I do have a couple of pluses in my favor.  First, I use the select-a-size rolls where you can tear off half a sheet.  Also, in the past year, I made the switch from plastic water bottles to one stainless steel bottle.  Considering I drink a lot of water, I have drastically reduced my use of plastic.  Further, I have also cut down on the number of baggies I use for school/work lunches opting instead for plastic reusable containers.  Lastly, I made the switch to CFL bulbs throughout my condo, and installed a low-flow showerhead.  Rationalization at its finest.

Just lately, I replaced the roll of paper towels with the new Kleenex hand towels.  They are even packaged in a nifty box that you can set upside down on your towel rack for handy dispensing.  Cute, right?  Now why didn't I think of that??

Technical Difficulties

I like technical difficulties, like with my computer, almost as much as car trouble which is to say, not at all.  My current laptop is coming to the end of it's life, and although the MIS group where I work would never recommend a Dell, mine has served me well.  I'm pretty sure I've had it for 7+ years.  I'm thankful it has never fried in a thunderstorm or just crashed.  I only just bought a UBS external drive to back up my pictures and my music downloads yesterday.  I know. Not. Smart. But everything on that computer that is important to me is now backed up and the laptop just has to limp along until I find a replacement.  

Although I would love a Mac, I'm pretty certain I'll be going with a HP.  As my aunt has always said, "champagne taste, beer pockets."  In my case, Miller Lite.  

What did we do before computers?  I can't remember, but I know I use mine to stay connected with social networking sites, like Facebook, and email, and to edit/share pictures and download music.  It's my link to the world outside, and on more than one occasion that connectedness has served as a depression buster for me.  What did we do before computers?  I choose not to remember. 

Sneakers

I need new sneakers.  Well, actually I've needed them for awhile now, but I'm getting serious about the purchase.  I put many miles on my sneakers and I need good ones especially given that I've had lower back pain from time to time, and it's triggered when I wear shoes that don't have adequate support.

I've had my current pair for awhile, and they are definitely showing signs of wear, and my Dr. Scholl's inserts are not cutting it anymore.  So I've been investigating sneakers and I've confident I've settled on the New Balance Women's 860 Stability Running Shoe.  

When I initially started looking around, I tried the Skechers Shape Ups because I liked the idea that even if I wasn't power walking these sneakers would still be working against the inevitable signs of gravity.  But I tried them on and realized I couldn't walk in them.  I know people like them, but they were not going to work for me.  They were too 'airy' and I felt like I was going to fall over.  I've also been looking at the Reebok Easytones but I haven't always had the best luck with Reebok's durability.     

Just recently Prevention magazine reviewed sneakers, and the analysis seemed pretty thorough, so for me, the New Balance sneaker seems like a good fit...it's just a matter of 7 1/2 or 8. 

Live and learn....

A few of my friends recently told me I should write about relationships.  Maybe they didn't see my Oatmeal post, or the one about Valentine's Day, but they were a step in the right direction.  

Of course, my initial reaction is...me?  Somehow, I find this amusing since I apparently am not very good at marriage (twice divorced) and my relationship with my daughter is the longest I've had.  I don't mean that in a bad way, it just doesn't make me a relationship expert, but I will say, I have lived and learned, and that's the place I come from.

It wasn't that I wasn't good at marriage, really, I just didn't make good choices.  I was raised on fairy tales.  You know, Cinderella marries the handsome prince and they live happily-ever-after.  

Commitment I understood, but nobody mentioned the fundamentals that make a marriage work like shared goals/priorities and values.  I only learned about that after I was married the first time, and it wasn't in therapy.  My 'aha' moment came while I was driving and listening to a show on the radio about relationships.  A light bulb went off in my head when I realized that's what was fundamentally wrong with my marriage.  What an eye-opener, and from there, I approached my next, what I thought would be a long-term, relationship in a whole new light.  I had taken the time, to grow as a person, and I was more emotionally equipped plus I had heard Dr. Phil talk at a seminar in Boston.  This was just after his first book was published and long before his talk show.  He talked and I listened, and my biggest takeaway at the time was that I didn't have to be half of a relationship to be a whole person.  It didn't exactly match-up with the whole fairytale ending, but I could completely relate.  By that time I was living and working in Boston, and I had great friends, and a nice life.  I wasn't looking for a relationship the next time around and so it caught me by surprise.  It just never occurred to me that someone would actually lie about his values which led to the imploding of the 2nd marriage in under one year.

It's been 10 years since then, and although I never swore off the idea that the "third time is the charm" I haven't exactly been out there looking either.  Until lately, it had been years since I even ventured out for a 'girl's night.'  At this point in my life, commitment has big shoes to fill, or maybe it's just that I finally expect more.  Now I want what is defined as mature love (about.com) that is built for the long haul.  The concept is pretty basic, and frankly I think we learned these behaviors in Kindergarten.  Now I just want them in my relationship.  Mature love includes acceptance, emotional support, commitment, calmness, respect, caring, kindness, friendship, and consideration.  To encapsulate that and more, I want to be 'cherished.'  In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, to be cherished is defined as, a : to hold dear : feel or show affection for, and b : to keep or cultivate with care and affection.  

It's about time...   

Spring

It's the first day of Spring, and it couldn't have come soon enough!  Of course, there were tell tale signs of the season approaching.  First, our local Dairy Queen, that closes for the winter, posted their sign announcing that they would re-open on March 19th for the season.  P.S. They actually opened on the 18th!  Then I noticed some crocuses popping up when I was walking last weekend, and this weekend daffodils were sprouting.  Next came the time change and the longer days.  

Then of course, there's March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament and playing a bracket.  I don't follow 'bracketology' but I do like to make predictions and fill out my own bracket for the final four.  As a rule, I don't follow the NBA, and I rarely watch college basketball, but I do get caught up in the tournament.  It started years ago, working somewhere completely different, when I filled out a bracket and entered the company pool.  I did it in the spirit of being a 'team player' and I didn't win, but I was hooked.  This year is no exception.  I found the bracket on the espn.com website, gave some thoughtful consideration to my choices, and boldly filled out my bracket.  I did pretty well in the first round, but in the second round, I wasn't quite so lucky.  Only two of 'my' teams that I predicted would make it to the final four are still standing.  Fortunately, they are my final two.  

Spring is also a time of renewal, and the Easter season.  In the coming weeks everything will get green again, and flowers and shrubs will start blooming.  The Easter candy is already on sale, and it will be time to color eggs soon.  Spring brings with it an energy that lifts my spirits. I've always been much more motivated to 'begin again' at this time of year versus New Year's.  And this year, after one of the worst winter's on record, I'm especially looking forward to the change of season!  You?      

P.S. I'm completely ignoring the fact that it's been snowing on and off today, and we may get a couple of inches between now and Thursday.  I see nothing....     

Shamrock Shake

Remember the McDonald's Shamrock Shake?  Well, they didn't seem to be advertising this year, so I found the recipe online.  Turns out the shake is on the McDonald's menu locally, but many locations were out.  Oh well, this is a tasty rendition! 

http://www.food.com/recipe/copycat-mcdonalds-shamrock-shake-113457

Modesty

Recently, on vacation, I received one of the nicest compliments. As a little background, we see some of the same families year after year because everyone shares the same February vacation, and we all come from various places to spend the week at the same timeshare complex in sunny Florida. 

One woman, I'll call her "Donna," mom of 4, puts herself in a rather teeny bikini considering she could use a little, well, much more support. While I'm sure this suit works in her own backyard when she's splashing with her kids in their own pool, it really doesn't work, in my opinion, for a family barbecue or at a family resort. While sitting at the pool one sunny afternoon, "Donna" came over to talk to one of my friends. He and his wife were going to see the space shuttle launch and she wanted more information. Apparently she was considering the adventure for her family. I can't remember where his wife was at the time, but my friend told her about the trip, and then when she walked away, he asked me her name. I told him, and he replied, "you should talk to her." Puzzled, I asked, "I should talk to her?...about?" and he said, "modesty."

At the time, I was amused and chuckled, but later I realized that was really a very nice compliment.  I do take great care to consider my bathing suit choices, and even though I'm in shape, I wear a tankini with a full bottom, and a supportive top.  I also use a cover-up when I get up to walk around.  I'm not one to run around in a skimpy bikini whether I could pull it off or not.  Turns out I'm modest, and that's good with me.

P.S. The same friend gave me another compliment when he asked if he could guess my age.  This time, his wife was sitting with me, and both she and I thought he was treading in dangerous waters, until his first guess was 38!  Whew!  

Books

So I'm back in the saddle again!  I didn't stop writing, but I did escape to Florida for winter break.  I spent a week by the pool soaking in the sunshine and reading or playing in the water with my daughter.  We also spent some time on the beach, collecting shells, and standing at the edge of the surf looking at the sharks out in the water. 

I've spent the last week settling back into our routine, getting used to the cold again, and catching up at work. 

I have some new topics to blog about and I'll get to them in the coming weeks.  For now, I'm going to tell you about the books.  The first one, "The Art of Racing in the Rain," has been on the New York Bestseller's List and was given to me by a girlfriend.  To be honest, I had not heard of it.  It's a dog's story told by the dog, Enzo, and it's brilliant.  The dog reflects back on his life, starting from when he was adopted as a puppy, and how his life changed with each stage in his owner's life.  It's well told, and very touching, and if you've ever owned a dog, I highly recommend this book.  

As a follow-up I read "The Blue Bistro" by Elin Hilderbrand.  This is the second book by this author that I've read, and both have stories built around life on Nantucket.  I've spent time on the island myself, and it's fun to read a book when I know the places she's referenced.  It's definitely 'chic-lit' and not a complicated story, but I would say pick it up if you  are looking for a good beach read.

Right before we left for the airport to come home, I finished, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."  I have to admit I was intimidated by this trilogy and it took me a long time to hop on the band wagon.  I had heard that it was hard to get into because it's based in Sweden and there are a lot of of Swedish references, but if you could make it past the first 75 pages it was really very good.  Well, I was hooked before page 30.  It's a fast paced, intricately told thriller with plenty of twists and turns. I will be reading the rest of the series, and I've already picked up "The Girl who Played with Fire!" 

What are you reading?

Valentine's Day

So I'm not quite sure where I stand on Valentines Day.  At times I've fallen on the side of it being a "Hallmark" holiday.  At other times I take objection to recognizing the gift of love in your life only once a year.  Even if we don't say, "I love you," I think we do things for each other all year that show our love for each other.  Well, at least I hope that is the case.  I'm sure there are people out there who definitely need that day to express themselves.  I don't happen to be one of them, but for the last 5 years, having a daughter in elementary school, I have gotten into the spirit of the Happy Heart Day.  

There's something magical about watching a child prepare Valentines for friends, and then pour over the Valentines she receives from  them.  Last year, and this year, I even went as far as organizing the Valentines Day party for her classroom because as her teacher told me, "he's a guy and doesn't do that sort of thing."  Okay.  This year my bubble was almost burst because a few other mom's told me their 4th graders thought they were "too old" for Valentines.  Seriously?  What is a Valentines Day party without Valentines?  Fortunately, my faith was restored because with the exception of one boy who said he 'forgot' his, my daughter had a Valentine from every other child in the class.  

Over the weekend we were inundated with commercials and television shows scripted around Valentines Day.  I opted to watch "Nights in Rodanthe" on the Lifetime Movie Channel.  The best line in the movie was at the end, when Diane Lane's character is talking to her daughter, and says, "there's another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it."  Somewhere along the lines I could have used similar advice.  My mother meant well, but she gave some rather poor advice when it came to relationships.  I will hold onto these words of wisdom from the movie and share them with my own daughter early and often.  Hopefully, she will listen, and hold out for that really special Valentine.  In any event if she too grows up and finds herself ambivalent about Valentines Day, it will not be because I jaded her during her formative years.  My conscience will be clear...

Superbowl

I had nothing riding on the game and didn't really follow either of these teams all season, but the only way I could sit down and watch the game was if I sat down and banged out a blog.  It was a a close game, and I couldn't relax.  I was in constant motion, and was even missing the commercials.  While I did sit down to write, the last five minutes I was on my feet.  Just your average case of Superbowl fever.  

I'm no armchair quarterback, and when a flag is thrown I can't call out the penalty before the announcer, but yes, I like football.  I can't remember liking it as a child, and I'm fairly certain I only attended high school games for the social scene, but somewhere along the lines, I learned to understand the game, and then I was hooked.  Officially, I'm a Patriots fan but since they didn't make it to the big dance, I threw my support for SB45 to the Packers.  It was a good game!    

My daughter is a football fan too.  When mom is watching football on Sunday, what's a girl to do?  She, at least, has the fundamentals, and she likes the Patriots.  I have no doubt my enthusiasm for the team has had an impression.  Although she has her own opinions too, and routes for Atlanta when they are playing, because she was born in Georgia.  Of course!

I didn't see any commercials that 'wowed' me but I am pretty taken with the e-Trade baby.

Packers?  Pittsburgh? Where you the least bit interested? 

As a side note, Tom Brady was voted the NFL MVP...indeed!

   

Annual Exam

Quick disclaimer!  I'm not a medical expert nor do I claim to be, but I do like to pass on information especially when I think it's important.  A few years back, I was quick to share the news that a deficiency in Vitamin D was linked to several cancers.  Frankly, I can't name them all because I stopped listening after my doctor said, "breast cancer" and named her source as The New England Journal of Medicine.  Although, I do remember she mentioned prostate cancer too.  I was quick to jump on the bandwagon, and had a Vitamin D panel done to make sure I wasn't deficient.  I wasn't, but I do take 1,000 iu of D3 on a daily basis.

I think it's important to be your own health advocate and if your doctor hasn't suggested a Vitamin D panel, ask for one.  And while you are having blood drawn anyway, ask for the CA 125 test.  It's an inflammatory marker and this year I'm asking for this one.  I know I'll be having blood work done (cholesterol, etc.) so while they are at it, I want this included on the lab slip.  Why, you ask?  Because  "CA 125 is a protein that is found in greater concentration in tumor cells than in any other cells in the body, and is measured from a blood sample.  Increases in this protein can be seen in ovarian cancer, "the silent killer," as well as malignancies of the uterine tubes, endometrium, lung, breast, pancreas, and gastrointestinal tract." 

Of course, as with any test, there are false positives and "a number of benign conditions can cause elevations of the CA 125 level, including pregnancy, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, pancreatitis, normal menstruation, pelvic inflammatory disease, and liver disease.  Benign tumors or cysts of the ovaries can cause an abnormal test result."  For me, dealing with a false positive would not be such a bad thing.   

I'm no stranger to asking a doctor for what I want or need for my own sanity.  A little over 12 years ago, my aunt on my mother's side found out she had Factor 5 leiden, an inherited clotting disorder.  I asked my doctor if I could have the test, and she said I didn't need it because I wasn't at risk.  I wasn't smoking, wasn't using an oral birth control, and I had no surgeries planned.  The following year, after another aunt died, as a result of a cardiac embolism, I insisted on the test.  Turns out, the results were positive.  I have found it's useful information to provide in the course of a pregnancy, and further when I travel, I know it's important for me to drink water and get up and walk around if possible (like when I'm flying).  I also know I shouldn't cross my legs.  Slowly she uncrosses her legs as she's typing now.  Asking for the test made me feel empowered, and I was glad I did.  

As a woman in her mid-forties, risks for certain cancers rise, and if this inflammatory marker can detect one of the many "silent killers," the cancer that isn't detected early enough, or before it's to late, than I'm asking.  Will you?

 

P.S. I would like to give credit to MedicineNet.com for helping me in my research. 

Oscars

I was going to rant about the snow, but it's not going to help.  It's snowing whether I like it or not, and by the way, I don't.  We have yet another major storm coming tonight and it's supposed to dump anywhere between 6-10 inches here in southeastern Connecticut.  I don't pay that much attention, but we must be hitting some kind of record here for snowfall.  

Anyway, snow means school cancellations and early dismissal (like today) so I got caught up on the Academy Award nominations for 2011.  I am pleased to announce I've actually seen a couple of the movies.  It helps that an animated motion picture actually made it into the best picture category because I saw "Toy Story 3" and it's nomination gives my movie going in 2010 some credibility.  It was actually a beautiful coming of age story, and I'm sure it struck a chord with any mom who faced their teenager heading off to college last fall  or in the next couple of years.  It definitely pulled at the emotional heart strings.  

I also saw "The Town," a rental, and that was very good but I have an affection for Ben Affleck and Boston, and this flick featured both so liking it was a given.  It did not get the nod for Best Picture but several of the supporting actors were nominated.  "The Kids are All Right" was another rental, and frankly, I didn't get it. I like Annette Benning, but thought the movie was so-so.  The movie was about the kids of a lesbian couple who find their biological father. All things considered, the kids were all right when the movie started and they were still all right when the movie ended, and nothing much changed in the middle.  

It doesn't count, but I have "Inception" and "The Social Network" in a pile of movies I have yet to watch. I've wanted to see "The Fighter," but so far no luck getting someone to see it with me.  Mark Wahlberg/Boston, yes, there's a common thread.   

"The King's Speech" led the field with 12 nominations, and I haven't seen it along with lots of other movies.  Namely last year's winner, "The Hurt Locker."  Actually, I'm doing pretty good this year, because I was just looking at the winners from 2009 and realized I didn't see any of those, but  I have "Slumdog Millionaire," "Milk," "The Reader," and "Frost Nixon" in the pile of movies to be seen too.  Somehow I always think I'm going to while away a cold, snowy winter day catching up on movies I haven't seen, but it doesn't happen, and that pile grows.


One of these days I'll catch up.  In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the Oscars, and the winner is....?  What do you think? 

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Improvements

I have never been obsessed with cosmetic surgery.  Well, let me back track, a long time ago I would have had a nose job, but I've never been eager to get my first face lift.  Believe me, I have at least two friends who are counting on a little nip and tuck when they turn 50.  I often wonder to myself, why that would be?  What's the point of a taught face with a wrinkly neck?  To me, it's a tell tale sign that someone has had 'work' done.  Oh, and I learned to live with my nose.

So over the years my only 'cosmetic' improvement has been my green contact lenses, and my push-up bra, but that's another story.  Considering my natural eye color is hazel, this improvement is not a huge stretch.  

I'm still not considering any drastic measures, but I have noticed the signs of time marching across my face.  As in I have a few more lines, yes wrinkles, on my forehead, and maybe my skin isn't as firm as it used to be so I'm considering my anti-aging product options.  I'm not in a full blown panic, but the situation does require my attention.  Fortunately, I can rule out products for, ahem, 50 and over, so that narrows things down a bit.  But still, the options are overwhelming, and there's a product out there for everything.    

For now, I've settled on a pretty good eye cream, ANEW Reversalist Illuminating Eye System by Avon, and have gone the extra mile for the lines with Clinique Repairwair Laser Focus.  This maybe overkill but when is it to early?  I will let you know whether or not I see any improvements.  In as much as I'm willing to age 'gracefully,' I don't want to look old before my time, whenever that time maybe?