Valentine's Day

So I'm not quite sure where I stand on Valentines Day.  At times I've fallen on the side of it being a "Hallmark" holiday.  At other times I take objection to recognizing the gift of love in your life only once a year.  Even if we don't say, "I love you," I think we do things for each other all year that show our love for each other.  Well, at least I hope that is the case.  I'm sure there are people out there who definitely need that day to express themselves.  I don't happen to be one of them, but for the last 5 years, having a daughter in elementary school, I have gotten into the spirit of the Happy Heart Day.  

There's something magical about watching a child prepare Valentines for friends, and then pour over the Valentines she receives from  them.  Last year, and this year, I even went as far as organizing the Valentines Day party for her classroom because as her teacher told me, "he's a guy and doesn't do that sort of thing."  Okay.  This year my bubble was almost burst because a few other mom's told me their 4th graders thought they were "too old" for Valentines.  Seriously?  What is a Valentines Day party without Valentines?  Fortunately, my faith was restored because with the exception of one boy who said he 'forgot' his, my daughter had a Valentine from every other child in the class.  

Over the weekend we were inundated with commercials and television shows scripted around Valentines Day.  I opted to watch "Nights in Rodanthe" on the Lifetime Movie Channel.  The best line in the movie was at the end, when Diane Lane's character is talking to her daughter, and says, "there's another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it."  Somewhere along the lines I could have used similar advice.  My mother meant well, but she gave some rather poor advice when it came to relationships.  I will hold onto these words of wisdom from the movie and share them with my own daughter early and often.  Hopefully, she will listen, and hold out for that really special Valentine.  In any event if she too grows up and finds herself ambivalent about Valentines Day, it will not be because I jaded her during her formative years.  My conscience will be clear...

Superbowl

I had nothing riding on the game and didn't really follow either of these teams all season, but the only way I could sit down and watch the game was if I sat down and banged out a blog.  It was a a close game, and I couldn't relax.  I was in constant motion, and was even missing the commercials.  While I did sit down to write, the last five minutes I was on my feet.  Just your average case of Superbowl fever.  

I'm no armchair quarterback, and when a flag is thrown I can't call out the penalty before the announcer, but yes, I like football.  I can't remember liking it as a child, and I'm fairly certain I only attended high school games for the social scene, but somewhere along the lines, I learned to understand the game, and then I was hooked.  Officially, I'm a Patriots fan but since they didn't make it to the big dance, I threw my support for SB45 to the Packers.  It was a good game!    

My daughter is a football fan too.  When mom is watching football on Sunday, what's a girl to do?  She, at least, has the fundamentals, and she likes the Patriots.  I have no doubt my enthusiasm for the team has had an impression.  Although she has her own opinions too, and routes for Atlanta when they are playing, because she was born in Georgia.  Of course!

I didn't see any commercials that 'wowed' me but I am pretty taken with the e-Trade baby.

Packers?  Pittsburgh? Where you the least bit interested? 

As a side note, Tom Brady was voted the NFL MVP...indeed!

   

Annual Exam

Quick disclaimer!  I'm not a medical expert nor do I claim to be, but I do like to pass on information especially when I think it's important.  A few years back, I was quick to share the news that a deficiency in Vitamin D was linked to several cancers.  Frankly, I can't name them all because I stopped listening after my doctor said, "breast cancer" and named her source as The New England Journal of Medicine.  Although, I do remember she mentioned prostate cancer too.  I was quick to jump on the bandwagon, and had a Vitamin D panel done to make sure I wasn't deficient.  I wasn't, but I do take 1,000 iu of D3 on a daily basis.

I think it's important to be your own health advocate and if your doctor hasn't suggested a Vitamin D panel, ask for one.  And while you are having blood drawn anyway, ask for the CA 125 test.  It's an inflammatory marker and this year I'm asking for this one.  I know I'll be having blood work done (cholesterol, etc.) so while they are at it, I want this included on the lab slip.  Why, you ask?  Because  "CA 125 is a protein that is found in greater concentration in tumor cells than in any other cells in the body, and is measured from a blood sample.  Increases in this protein can be seen in ovarian cancer, "the silent killer," as well as malignancies of the uterine tubes, endometrium, lung, breast, pancreas, and gastrointestinal tract." 

Of course, as with any test, there are false positives and "a number of benign conditions can cause elevations of the CA 125 level, including pregnancy, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, pancreatitis, normal menstruation, pelvic inflammatory disease, and liver disease.  Benign tumors or cysts of the ovaries can cause an abnormal test result."  For me, dealing with a false positive would not be such a bad thing.   

I'm no stranger to asking a doctor for what I want or need for my own sanity.  A little over 12 years ago, my aunt on my mother's side found out she had Factor 5 leiden, an inherited clotting disorder.  I asked my doctor if I could have the test, and she said I didn't need it because I wasn't at risk.  I wasn't smoking, wasn't using an oral birth control, and I had no surgeries planned.  The following year, after another aunt died, as a result of a cardiac embolism, I insisted on the test.  Turns out, the results were positive.  I have found it's useful information to provide in the course of a pregnancy, and further when I travel, I know it's important for me to drink water and get up and walk around if possible (like when I'm flying).  I also know I shouldn't cross my legs.  Slowly she uncrosses her legs as she's typing now.  Asking for the test made me feel empowered, and I was glad I did.  

As a woman in her mid-forties, risks for certain cancers rise, and if this inflammatory marker can detect one of the many "silent killers," the cancer that isn't detected early enough, or before it's to late, than I'm asking.  Will you?

 

P.S. I would like to give credit to MedicineNet.com for helping me in my research. 

Oscars

I was going to rant about the snow, but it's not going to help.  It's snowing whether I like it or not, and by the way, I don't.  We have yet another major storm coming tonight and it's supposed to dump anywhere between 6-10 inches here in southeastern Connecticut.  I don't pay that much attention, but we must be hitting some kind of record here for snowfall.  

Anyway, snow means school cancellations and early dismissal (like today) so I got caught up on the Academy Award nominations for 2011.  I am pleased to announce I've actually seen a couple of the movies.  It helps that an animated motion picture actually made it into the best picture category because I saw "Toy Story 3" and it's nomination gives my movie going in 2010 some credibility.  It was actually a beautiful coming of age story, and I'm sure it struck a chord with any mom who faced their teenager heading off to college last fall  or in the next couple of years.  It definitely pulled at the emotional heart strings.  

I also saw "The Town," a rental, and that was very good but I have an affection for Ben Affleck and Boston, and this flick featured both so liking it was a given.  It did not get the nod for Best Picture but several of the supporting actors were nominated.  "The Kids are All Right" was another rental, and frankly, I didn't get it. I like Annette Benning, but thought the movie was so-so.  The movie was about the kids of a lesbian couple who find their biological father. All things considered, the kids were all right when the movie started and they were still all right when the movie ended, and nothing much changed in the middle.  

It doesn't count, but I have "Inception" and "The Social Network" in a pile of movies I have yet to watch. I've wanted to see "The Fighter," but so far no luck getting someone to see it with me.  Mark Wahlberg/Boston, yes, there's a common thread.   

"The King's Speech" led the field with 12 nominations, and I haven't seen it along with lots of other movies.  Namely last year's winner, "The Hurt Locker."  Actually, I'm doing pretty good this year, because I was just looking at the winners from 2009 and realized I didn't see any of those, but  I have "Slumdog Millionaire," "Milk," "The Reader," and "Frost Nixon" in the pile of movies to be seen too.  Somehow I always think I'm going to while away a cold, snowy winter day catching up on movies I haven't seen, but it doesn't happen, and that pile grows.


One of these days I'll catch up.  In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the Oscars, and the winner is....?  What do you think? 

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Improvements

I have never been obsessed with cosmetic surgery.  Well, let me back track, a long time ago I would have had a nose job, but I've never been eager to get my first face lift.  Believe me, I have at least two friends who are counting on a little nip and tuck when they turn 50.  I often wonder to myself, why that would be?  What's the point of a taught face with a wrinkly neck?  To me, it's a tell tale sign that someone has had 'work' done.  Oh, and I learned to live with my nose.

So over the years my only 'cosmetic' improvement has been my green contact lenses, and my push-up bra, but that's another story.  Considering my natural eye color is hazel, this improvement is not a huge stretch.  

I'm still not considering any drastic measures, but I have noticed the signs of time marching across my face.  As in I have a few more lines, yes wrinkles, on my forehead, and maybe my skin isn't as firm as it used to be so I'm considering my anti-aging product options.  I'm not in a full blown panic, but the situation does require my attention.  Fortunately, I can rule out products for, ahem, 50 and over, so that narrows things down a bit.  But still, the options are overwhelming, and there's a product out there for everything.    

For now, I've settled on a pretty good eye cream, ANEW Reversalist Illuminating Eye System by Avon, and have gone the extra mile for the lines with Clinique Repairwair Laser Focus.  This maybe overkill but when is it to early?  I will let you know whether or not I see any improvements.  In as much as I'm willing to age 'gracefully,' I don't want to look old before my time, whenever that time maybe?  

Processing

I thought I would re-post this piece I wrote last year when I was trying to process the news, a year ago today, that my uncle had died. 


This morning was a typical Thursday morning.  Up with the alarm, make the bed, hop in the shower, and then I noticed the voicemail message.  In my family, there's only one reason why my cousin would be calling me at 6:15am, and it isn't to spread good news.  This is confirmed by my cousin's voice because I can tell straight away she's trying to remain composed, and in her message, she goes on to say that her father has died during the night.  He was married to my mother's 1st cousin,who was more like a sister, and predeceased him almost 10 1/2 years ago, and while that doesn't officially make him my Uncle, we always called them Aunt and Uncle, and they were a big part of my life.  My cousin and I are also close, and I was the first person she called. 

Of course, I immediately called her back to express my heartfelt sympathy and to find out how or why, he died.  At 69, he wasn't old, and he seemed to be in good health, and he was still going to work everyday.  Apparently, he died, peacefully in his sleep.  In my opinion, this is the way to go, but it still comes as a shock.  His live-in girlfriend, significant other, tried to wake him this morning and he was unresponsive so she called the paramedics, and there was nothing they could do.

This was one morning when I wished I lived closer, my cousin lives in NJ, along with the great majority of my extended family, and I'm here in CT.  I would have called work and headed over to be with her and help in someway.  Instead, I'm struggling through the work day.  Obviously, I'm not actually working, because here I am composing this post, but I thought it would help me process, and then maybe I could get some work done.  

I have a lot of good memories of my Uncle.  I remember the Tic/Tac's (orange) he would bring home from his 2nd job at Shea Stadium when my cousin and I were kids.  It's funny how the mind works, because I hadn't thought of that in years.  However, I still have an affection for Tic/Tac's.  I also have a memory of us sitting in the car with him, waiting in line for gas (remember the 70's?), and him telling goofy jokes to help the time pass.  He also asked us which rock band had a name that you could spell forwards and backwards, and it was still the same?  Abba, of course!  

Our families were on vacation together in Nag's Head, NC, when he took some of his first photos.  He captured an eagle one morning while walking on the beach at sunrise.  Photography would become one of his great passions, and I have a picture of a sunflower he captured and gave me last year hanging on my wall.  Sunflowers are a personal favorite, and this one is beautiful.  I also asked him to be at my daughter's 1st Holy Communion last year and capture the memories like only he could.  The pictures came out beautiful and afterward, I can only hope I expressed my gratitude sufficiently in my thank you note.

I remember how wonderful he was in the aftermath of my aunt dying when he carried on with my cousin's baby shower exactly as she would have wanted, and fortunately sought my guidance when it came to giving my cousin the gift for her unborn baby from her mother.  It was the last gift opened and there wasn't a dry eye in the room.  

In the last ten years, my uncle was a devoted 'pop pop' to his grandson, my cousin's son.  They had a very close bond and I can only imagine how difficult it will be for him to say good-bye.  They have shared a passion for sports, and a silly sense of humor.  Every picture I have of my godson was taken by his grandfather, and they are perfect.

Of course, there were not so good times too.  I was one of the first to realize he was dating again very soon after his wife died, and 'she' was another first cousin of my mother and my aunt.  At the time, I couldn't understand why he would be so blatant about it, but I think he was trusting me because it was all going over my cousins head.  She was just home with her baby and in la la land, and it wasn't time to share the news with her.  In time, she would need to deal with it and I was there for her.  Initially, it caused a little family strife but it's been 10 years, and they were happy (maybe).

We were supposed to see him a couple of weeks ago at my cousins house for a post Christmas, Christmas celebration, and snow canceled our plans.  Snow.  Last time I saw him we were celebrating a christening in Long Island.  I always enjoyed seeing him at our family celebrations over the years.  Inevitably, I would wind up sitting with him, and we always had a great time, and shared lots of laughs.  The next family gathering will be for his wake on Sunday, and the funeral service on Monday.  I did not see that coming. 

Well, I didn't get a lot of work done today, but I do feel better.  Thanks for letting me share. 

        

               

Snow

Snow is everywhere.  Lots of snow.  And I mean lots.  While that isn't a big deal for many areas in the country,  in Southeastern Connecticut it's not that common.  I have always touted the mild winters here. So the fact that we got 14" of the white flakes yesterday, is surprising.  The second notable issue about the storm is that the weather people got it right.  We have been warned countless times before about an impending storm that somehow manages to fall apart the minute school is canceled.   

But yesterday, everything fell into place, and we got the snow.  Officially, I've had enough.  While my winter mantra has always been, "everyday is a day closer to spring," this is one year when I really mean it.  

Of course, there are some nice parts, like the stillness after a good old fashioned snow storm.  I stood outside yesterday, just enjoying the quiet.  Until after a few minutes, there was the familiar sound of a plow not too far away.  Momentarily, that was nice.  And yes, the snow is pretty to look at  in the trees, and the way it glistened in the sunshine today did make for a gorgeous picture.  I even noticed that people seemed upbeat today.  They were probably happy to be out from under all the snow, to have power or just to be out of the house.  

Then I fell, and there it is, the downside.  I was heading to my car, and I didn't notice the ice under the packed down snow in the parking lot, and I went down hard.  My lower back and right shoulder will be feeling this fall for days despite the Aleve.  The upside is my Starbucks coffee was not lost in the fall, because somehow I managed to keep it balanced and upright.  That must have been quite a sight. 

So there you have it, there's a lot of winter still to come, and I've officially had enough.