Should

I would say about five years ago I dropped the word "should" from my vocabulary, and while I might still use it occasionally, I make a conscious effort to work around it in a sentence.  Why?  Because when you think about it, "should' is a very negative word.  How many times do you "should" on yourself or someone else?  For example, I should have written a blog last week.  Turn it around, leave out "should" and instead, I will try harder to blog this week.  Much better.  It isn't an easy exercise at first, but it does get better.

That being said, I'm very sensitive to the overuse of the word.  In my world, my mother is the biggest offender.  I love her, she's my mom, but she wastes an enormous amount of time pondering what other people "should" or "should not" do.  Maybe that's what you do when you're retired, but I sure hope not.  I have an endless supply of examples, but I won't bore you.  I know it  drives her pretty crazy when I won't engage, and in as much as I've explained that "should" is a negative word and I do my best not to "should" on others, it falls on deaf ears.  Sometimes, I find myself concentrating on how many times she's uses the word in one conversation, instead of hearing what she's said. Since I pride myself on being a good listener, I'm trying to break myself of this habit.  Two wrongs do not make a right.  

The next time you're having a conversation with either yourself or someone else,be mindful of how many times you "should" on yourself or someone else?  Turn your 'should' statements into positive statements, and let me know if it makes a difference!